The more you and your partner learn about and grow with one another, the easier and harder it is to not see each other every day. Spontaneity can be difficult when it comes to seeing each other, however, that doesn’t mean you can’t still surprise your partner. Yes, you can know the days you’ll see each other, but your partner or you can come up with a plan of what to do and not tell your partner until they’re there.

“Make sure you’re on the same page about where you’re going,” she advised. “Long-distance is fine for a while, but you need an end goal.” That means having big conversations and having them upfront. “Don’t whittle away two years of your lives without ever asking, ‘Would you move here or would I move there?

Therefore, the last step in maintaining positive intimate relationships, especially during difficult times, is learning how to handle problems and arguments in a healthy way. Focusing on maintaining positive communication and motivation, from the steps above, can help to calm a romantic partner when you are arguing. Using various “softening techniques” can help settle down and argument as well.

Video chats over phone calls

During the pandemic, our natural needs for social contact as well as commitments that tied us to contacts with others for purposes of work or other activities redefined who we spoke to in what format and how often. Telephone calls came to feel more intimate than meetings on screens. They became limited to contacts with people whom we could reach in person. In times of crisis and difficulty, our basic needs for food, safety, love, and connection with others become much more important. As a result, focusing on relationship goals and interactions that serve to support basic physical and emotional well-being is vital during difficult times. In essence, by meeting each other’s needs for health, safety, and emotional connection right now, throughout daily relationship exchanges, you and your loved ones can create a deeper and more satisfying connection.

For others, the coronavirus has forced them to separate from their partners against their will, putting an unanticipated strain on their relationships. Location has started mattering less for people’s lives in general. Remote work has allowed people to move around more freely, and changing location on an app lets users meet people before getting to their new WFH location. Long-distance relationships are easier to maintain thanks to technological developments like texting and video chatting. Relationships that endure separation lose the common context of what Richard Hackman called the “ambient stimuli” in a situation—what people experience simply because they share a common environment. From time of day to weather effects to extraneous sounds that unconsciously influence our moods and behavior, people in distanced relationships are exposed to separate sets of environmental factors.

Make a lunch spread and video chat to talk over your favorite pieces. If you don’t live with your partner, make use of video chat and other virtual options. We asked a couples therapist, dating coaches and a matchmaker to share their best ideas. “Often in long-distance relationships, people say, ‘I just want to enjoy this https://matchreviewer.net/ perfect weekend together, I don’t want a heavy conversation,’ so you end up pushing it down the road longer than you should,” DiDonato says. Equally important in long-distance relationships, says Ury, is responding to your partner’s bid for emotional connection, an idea coined by psychological researcher John Gottman.

MORE IN LIFE

Leal says she’s not on any apps right now, but she is open to dating if she meets someone in real life. For a self-described “relationship person,” it’s been a long time since 25-year-old Vanshika Dhawan has been in one. She had been seeing someone long-distance before the COVID-19 pandemic began in earnest in March, 2020, but they broke up not long after that. “Things like that have been frustrating, but it’s telling about their willingness to follow the rules,” said Adams, who’s also tweeted about her COVID-19 online dating experiences. While you both might be confined to your own four walls, museums are offering free virtual tours of their facilities that will take you beyond them. Explore collections from The Metropolitan Museum of Art, The Louvre, or the Smithsonian National Portrait Gallery, among others.

The pandemic and technological change prod us to revise our perspectives.

Being able to break that cycle and talk about what you miss or are looking forward to doing next seems like a small and easy thing, but it can be hard. Don’t be afraid to express how you’re feeling, even if it is a negative emotion. Those hard talks sometimes have the best rewards, such as gaining more trust for each other or more strength in the relationship. Knowing each others’ boundaries is important and being able to talk about them is crucial for any kind of distance in a relationship. While socioeconomic factors do play a critical, with couples more financially affected by the pandemic more likely to split up, Pietromonaco says that a lot comes down to how couples approach problems that come their way.

That is because such companionate love and willingness helps to build a more enduring and caring connection beyond the superficial passions that initially bring people together. If not, think about how long you’re willing to do the long distance thing. “Agree with your partner that if the relationship is worth staying in, you will close the distance by one partner moving or both moving to an agreeable location,” Jackson says. “Also, if the relationship does not grow by a certain time frame, feel free to end the relationship to avoid staying in something that is not suitable.” And for more on breakups, see these 15 Worst Reasons to Delay a Breakup. True, they’re not for everyone, but if you’re really struggling with being apart, an open relationship may ease the solitude that comes along with LDRs. “If you and your partner are both comfortable with and agree to it, you each can explore seeing other people in your area while still being a couple. You’d be surprised how many people are open to dating an already-committed individual.”

Those people with a greater tolerance for ambiguity might use a kind of psychological segmentation to make the lockdown feel more orderly and under control. For example, by thinking of time with their partner and time without their partner as two clearly distinguished periods, they might be able to reduce any potential feelings of listlessness. What should we do to keep our relationships happy and healthy during the pandemic?

He optimistically booked a couple trips last year, but had to cancel them. A typical day apart for the couple involves plenty of calls and FaceTime chats — sometimes even putting each other on video and silently working “together” — and a few surprises, such as occasionally ordering each other lunch. “We speak on FaceTime multiple times a day to talk things through, though the five-hour time difference doesn’t help, and really just communicate with each other as much as we can,” Cox says. “We try to stay as optimistic as possible, as we know it can always be worse and in the grand scheme of things, we are still very lucky.” Acts of service could be making the drive out just to see them, going over your partner’s homework if they need a second opinion while still in school, or using a food delivery app to send them dinner.

“While I do think FaceTime is better than nothing, I don’t think there is any comparison to being able to share a laugh together in person, relax on a couch with one another, or cheers with some bubbly at a great bar,” Charlotte said. Normally, Ava, who asked to use a pseudonym for privacy reasons, and her boyfriend would see each other every couple of months by planning a trip together. But now, the reunion trip they were planning is indefinitely on hold. Ava, 27, lives in Eastern Europe while her boyfriend lives in the United States, and that’s been the case for the entirety of their two-year relationship. “I have no idea when I will be back in the home I built in Ireland with him, which in times of worry can feel defeating,” she said.

“As humans, we are built biologically with the need to connect to others,” she said. “Connecting to others helps to inform our social cues while enhancing our mental and physical health. When we connect to others, we can better our health while also improving the health of who we are connecting with.” Hillary Schoninger, a psychotherapist based in Chicago, told TMRW that creative approaches like these are key to nourishing the human need for connection that so many are missing right now. Maintaining long-distance relationships and friendships requires creativity. The information contained in this article is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as health or medical advice. Always consult a physician or other qualified health provider regarding any questions you may have about a medical condition or health objectives.